 |
| Hanuman, from The Divine India |
Hanuman sighed and tapped his fingers on the table for a few seconds before continuing his story.
"I suppose my life hit the low point when Rama was hanging around. The man claimed to be a God in human form, but I never saw him do anything by himself. Maybe all his tricks were just smoke and mirrors. Anyways, when he starts poking around our neck of the woods, Sugriva tells me to go check this guy out. He goes on and on about how his wife has been kidnapped by Ravana, and he needs help finding her. I say whatever, not our problem, but he and Sugriva make a deal. Rama would kill Vali, and Sugriva would be king again. Then Sugriva would personally help Rama find his wife. As if Sugriva would ever do anything personally."
Hanuman laughed and then sighed again. He drew in breath, and then picked up right where he left off.
"So Rama hides in the jungle until Vali comes past, and then he shoots him with an arrow, like a coward. Real 'God-like' behavior. So after this, Rama wants his reward. Which means all of us have to go out and find Sita while Rama and Sugriva sit back, waiting for us to find her so they can swoop in and claim all the credit. This group of bears and I head south, towards Sri Lanka. Of course when we get to the sea, nobody knows how to swim. So, I jump across the ocean and kill a demon on my way over for good measure. After I find Sita, she refuses to come back with me so she doesn't hurt her husband's honor. Not that that mattered in the end. So, after I burn the city down to make our invasion easier, I jump back across the ocean and tell Rama and Sugriva that she didn't wanna come. So these two geniuses decide that we should build a bridge over the ocean instead of, you know, a boat."
Hanuman had a look of pure contempt on his face at this point.
"So we spend forever building this bridge. And what do you know, when we finish there is an army waiting for us. We win, but we get beat up so bad that most of our army is lying on the ground crying and whining about being hurt. Much as you would suspect from incompetent leaders, Rama and Sugriva didn't even bring enough medicine to heal us. So I jump back across the ocean to the Himalayas and pick a mountain covered in medicinal herbs out of the ground like it was a flower. I bring it back to these crybabies, and they were all like 'Hunaman our savior,' but they didn't mean it. I know they didn't."
Hanuman was close to yelling at this point, with his eyes bulging out of his head.
"Then our high command goes and gets itself captured, and guess who was on the hook to rescue them. That's right, this guy. Just another day in the life. So after I rescue the bumbling idiots, they go to fight Ravana. Despite Rama claiming to be a God this whole time, it takes the intervention of a real God so that he can win. Indra himself has to send down his chariot so that Rama could beat Ravana, and Rama already had weapons made by the Gods specifically for this fight. Why people believed this guy, no idea. Then we rescue his wife, just so he can dump her. It's ridiculous the way these humans act. Rama kept going on about Sita being unfaithful to him, and of course she denied it. Same old story, it never changes."
Hanuman finally stood up and yelled, "And after all that they just sent me back to the jungle like a piece of trash. Seriously, I couldn't believe it. Last time I ever work with any so-called God."
Author's Note:
For this story, I was inspired how it seems that Hanuman continually saves the day in the latter half of The Ramayana, but receives what I felt was little recognition relative to the feats he performed. I decided to write a story about his frustrations from being overlooked. I have glossed over some of the praise and recognition he received in the original, but the basic events and story line remain the same from the Public Domain Edition of the Ramayana. Additionally, at no point does Hanuman display the attitude he displays in this story. His emotions in this story are very exaggerated.
In this story, Hanuman is simply going on a rant to a silent audience. I decided to make this story more humorous than the other story in my portfolio, I wanted to try and master a different style and tone of writing. Mostly, I want the readers to laugh, and enjoy reading a lighthearted story. As a second goal, I also want readers to realize how much Hanuman does to keep the plot moving in the Ramayana. The image I choose was simply an image of Hanuman, so that my readers would have an idea of who was telling the story to them.
Bibliography:
"Ramayana: Public Domain Edition" by multiple authors. Source.
Wow! Andrew, you have a really good sense of humor and I really enjoyed your twist on the Ramayana! I also enjoyed how you sense the tone of each of the characters you presented through the dialogue sections. In addition, I enjoyed the layout of your story. It seemed as if you knew right exactly to break paragraphs and put one liners. Each paragraph was fulfilling and provided overall meaning. I think your picture fits well at the top of the story, however I have preference for pictures in the middle of the text because it gives the reader something to look forward to. Also I did like the idea of your author's note being at the top of the story post whereas I have mine at the bottom. I feel your formatting provides readers of your story an option to read a short or full version immediately. Rather, my setup seems to provide a synopsis but lacks an option at the beginning for the reader. Overall, a very well put together story from multiple aspects. Thanks for posting!
ReplyDelete-Tyler
I can say that I totally related to Hanuman as I was reading this. I could feel his annoyance, but I was still able to follow his side of the story. You did a good job on keeping the story from his point of view, but still including the other characters as needed. Overall, I enjoyed this story and I still look forward to reading more later.
ReplyDeleteAndrew,
ReplyDeleteI think your story is hilarious. I agree that Hanuman is very glossed over in the epic stories and he actually does save the day a lot of the time for these people and “Gods”. I really enjoyed how you used let Hanuman narrate his own thoughts. I think that is a really powerful writing tactic. I thought the “wow” moment in your story was how mad and frustrated Hanuman had gotten. In the story he seems like a very humble monkey, but I like the twist on his personality. I wonder if Hanuman decided to not obey these rules what would happen to him? What if they finally came a conclusion to promote Hanuman into royalty. I bet he would be sufficed with that recognition. Overall, you are a great writer and I did not notice any immediate grammatical or punctuation errors! Thank you for letting me read such a great story!
I absolutely loved the different approach. I like how your character actually told the story. Your paragraphs are very dense, however it does make since because you character is talking the whole time. You could have him pause more often.
ReplyDeleteI have the same blog layout that I have. I like the simplicity of it. However I would make the font a little bigger.
Really good story!
I love to see how different people view other characters thoughts when they are not expressed directly in the original text. I thought you did a great job at describing in detail, the thoughts that Hanuman was having throughout this journey. I also love the short descriptions of how their faces and actions were during their dialog. It really brings the characters to life.
ReplyDeleteI love to see how different people view other characters thoughts when they are not expressed directly in the original text. I thought you did a great job at describing in detail, the thoughts that Hanuman was having throughout this journey. I also love the short descriptions of how their faces and actions were during their dialog. It really brings the characters to life.
ReplyDeleteAndrew, this story was great. I love the idea of Hanuman feeling under-appreciated. This version of Hanuman reminds me of Sun Wukong from Journey to the West (who is himself based on Hanuman). I really liked how you approached his dialogue. It feels very real, the gradual escalation of his anger gives him more personality, and the exaggerations he makes helps to make it feel more like Hanuman is telling the story from his perspective. I also like the formatting. Telling each story through dialogue broken up by descriptions of Hanuman’s temperament divides the story really neatly. I was wondering while I was reading though, who is he talking to? Where is he at? If you have a short paragraph at the beginning to describe your setting, you might be able to pull your reading more in to the story. Maybe Hanuman is sitting in a seedy tavern throwing back some drinks or maybe he’s in a small hermitage out in the middle of the jungle.
ReplyDeleteHi Andrew!
ReplyDeleteI liked the intro you were able to put for your portfolio and I found it very helpful that any link I clicked open a new tab which made it easy to switch between your blog and your portfolio. One suggestion I might have is to add a picture under each story introduction. I know you aren’t supposed to judge a book by its cover but I think a picture enhances interest.
I was initially drawn to this story because the name sounded humorous and I love to laugh. I was not disappointed. I enjoyed the story because it was mainly about Hanuman! I feel like Hanuman does not get enough praise in the Ramayana for all of the things he does for Rama and Lakshmana. In fact, I feel like even though Hanuman was a key part of the Ramayana the reader never actually knows anything about him or his feelings.
-Sara
Andrew, this was a very enjoyable story to read and I loved the amount of satire that was involved in your storytelling. I will say that I also like the picture that you included for this story. It emphasizes the temperament of Hanuman's character and helps to develop a clear picture for me when I'm reading the story about Hanuman. I feel as if this story really gives light to Hanuman because he does not get a lot of love in the Ramayana. I also enjoyed the use of dialogue throughout the story. It helps to bring the imagery in my head full circle to the description of Hanuman's character. I can almost sense the connotation of Hanuman's words when he interacts with other characters in the story. All in all a very good read and I look forward to reading more of your stories that hit your portfolio. Thanks for posting!
ReplyDelete-Tyler
Andrew,
ReplyDeleteThis was absolute perfection. I was half laughing, half aww-ing for being so sorry at what Hanuman had to go through. I like how you wrote about a whole different side of him than I think anyone would have imagined. I also noticed as I was reading the Ramayana that it seemed as though he did the most work to save the day, especially in the last couple of chapters. Your bits of humor here and there were really well placed to provide some comedic relief. I wonder how the story would be if instead of a silent audience, he was telling this to a real audience. Perhaps Rama? I would be so curious to see how Rama could answer to all that Hanuman has to say! I thoroughly enjoyed reading this story in your portfolio especially because it is not only about a character that seems to be overlooked, but because you also created such a different personality than would be expected. Bravo!
You did an absolutely fantastic job! When I read the Ramayana for the first I was very surprised to see how much they put on Hanuman's shoulders and I felt that he was never properly praised for all the things he had done to help Rama and Sugriva, so I really thought it was great when you addressed that because I was totally thinking the same things. This is definitely a relatable story because everyone has all felt under appreciated at least some point in our lives and if you have not, you will. I really like the light heartedness you put into the story despite what all was going on, it was nice to have a light read. I really like how you took a single character and told it in the eyes of that one character. It makes you think what was Hanuman's really emotions and thoughts while going through this. It could possibly be exactly what you are describing in your story! Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteHi Andrew! Just finished reading your portfolio story and I thought it was great! I remember reading the story about Hanuman and how he was always saving the day in the Ramayana. One of the many moments of your story that I liked was how you started of the story. I think quotes are a great way to start stories off. I know most people are critical of it sometimes but I think its great. I thought your plot of the story was great and how you talked about Hanuman in this story. I like how you changed up this story and put your own twist in it. I like how you also used Rama in this story because he is my favorite character in the Ramayana. I also thought it was cool how each paragraph was quotes. I have not seen anyone do that before and I thought it was pretty unique. Great job on the story!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your story! I love how you focused on Hanuman. I am actually using him in my own storybook. I also feel as if he received very little recognition for his efforts in helping save Siti. I like how you took his lack of recognition and used it as the basis of your story. I love how you made this into a funny story. I have read so many stories and I felt like I need to read a bit of comedy! I really love the picture you used. The colors really make him stand out and it clearly express his god like character. I would suggest maybe adding another picture of him not looking as powerful simply because this character in the picture does not look like some one who would rant. After reading your story I can picture Hanuman being more of funny character rather than tuff and serious. Overall, I love this story!
ReplyDeleteHi Andrew!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great story. I like the image you chose. Usually Hanuman gives me the creeps. He reminds me of the creepy movie, the Planet of the Apes. It is nice that you wrote him a good light, pointing out the good he does to keep the gods happy. That helps me to like him more. I really did not see him much as a hero in the stories until you pointed it out. I always focused more on the other gods and goddesses in the stories I have read that he is in. He is a good guy!
I like how he really just let it all out at the end, so his eyes quit bugging out. Yelling is cathartic. It might be funny to watch Hanuman go ape %$&^.
I do not see any sort of errors or problems with the flow of the story, I had fun reading it! Thanks for sharing it with us!
Andrew,
ReplyDeleteI read your story the forest and then I read this story. I liked the way you retold the first story but his one is beyond perfect. I never thought about the story of Rama could be told in such a way that he would be less of a king/god. I am really impressed with your thought process here. The story is perfectly presented. I agree with you that Hanuman should have got more credits in the story for all the works he did. You have pointed out some huge points to show where Rama lacked to be considered a God. I really feel like you have done justice to what you aimed to portray in this story with the main story intact in your version. This story was funny to me and also I kept on thinking why would Hanuman say such things about Rama. Overall, it was a great story.
Hi Andrew,
ReplyDeleteYour story makes a very good point. I realized, when I was reading the Ramayana that Hanuman really does help save the day on multiple occasions and usually single handedly. On top of that he asks for no recognition or praise for doing everything to help the Gods. I had not realized until reading your story just how key of a character he is to the entire epic! If it wren't for him, Rama would probably not have Sita or may not even be alive. I also love the style of writing you chose for doing this. At first I was annoyed by how entitled Hanuman sounded but after reading further and further I started to agree with him. By the end of the story, I too would have been yelling like he was. He makes a good point though; Rama is respected so highly as a king and Godlike yet he rarely accomplishes a lot without the help of others. Guess even gods need a helping hand.